Hello and welcome to The Nice-ish Ramblings Podcast with me The Nice-ish Psychologist. Today’s episode is the second half of a chat I had with author, men’s mental health advocate, and trainee holistic psychotherapist, Alex Holmes. If you have not heard the first half of the chat, I suggest you stop this one and go back to the previous episode and have a listen - it will give a lot more context to the discussion you are about to hear.
In today’s episode, Alex and I focus a bit more on the here and now in terms of what men can do to re-define masculinity. We discuss a whole host of things: we think about self-reflection and what men may need to do to examine whether they engage in toxic masculine behaviours; we talk about his book (which is great, by the way); and we think about friendships and meaningful connections between men. I really enjoyed listening back to this half of the chat as I feel like there are some helpful things for men to think about (or even people who know men, which is very likely). So, this feels like a practical and useful chat, which I enjoyed being a part of and listening back to (even if I do say so myself and even though I hate the sound of my own voice). Anyway, I hope you find some value in what Alex and I have to say.
Oh, and as I said last time, Alex has a much better microphone than I do, so I do very much apologise in advance for the poor sound quality from my side of the conversation - it usually seems to happen when I get really excitable. Which is quite often…. soz!
Right, strap yourselves in - the discussion picks up right in the middle of a chat, so there is no preamble. Enjoy.
I am still working on the transcript for this – it will be up in the next few days, thank you for your patience.
There you go, that is the wisdom and the reflections of Mr Alex Holmes. I don’t know about you, but I really do admire Alex’s reflective capacity and that his automatic approach to thinking about men’s issues is with compassion, which seems to always be at the forefront of his inquiry and curiosity. On that basis, it was a real honour to speak to him and I hope you enjoyed it, too. And I would very much enjoy picking his brain a little bit further on things, because something we did not get to thinking about was future men. The future generation of boys and young men who are growing up I what feels like a bit of a culture shift in terms of masculinity. I’ve recently listened to a podcast by Gemma Styles, the Good Influences podcast, who was having a discussion with Ben Hurst about toxic masculinity, and in his day job Ben Hurst works with boys and young men (I think) to think about gender roles. So, he might also be a good guest to have on. Having said that, I would recommend listening to that episode as it’s a good’un!
So, that’s it for this episode. If you enjoyed what you heard, please do subscribe and rate this podcast on whatever platform you are listening. Rating and leaving comments really does help with giving other potential listeners an idea of how good (or bad) my show is. Also, spread the work on social media and tag me in that shit. It is always humbling to know that you lot are recommending me. And, if your account isn’t private, I will always (usually) say hi. So, any feedback of that kind would be greatly appreciated. As always, you can find me on Instagram and Twitter; you can also get a hold of Alex on his Instagram account. Let us know what you thought, or just come say hi. Until next time – have a good day! Or not. Whatever, no pressure.
Resources
“Time to Talk: How Men Think about Love, Belonging, and Connection” – Alex Holmes
“The Will to Change” & “All About Love” – bell hooks
“Daring Greatly” - Brené Browne
“A History of Masculinity: From Patriarchy to Gender Justice” – Ivan Jablonka
“Humankind” – Rutger Bregman
“Ben Hurst on Toxic Masculinity” - “Good Influences Podcast” with Gemma Styles
5: "Toxic Masculinity" Part 4 - Reflecting on What Men Can Do Now with Alex Holmes