The desire to do too many things...

...can annoyingly prevent you from doing anything.

And this is where I find myself at the moment. I have several ideas of things I want to write about, a number of ideas I want to discuss in podcast episodes, and so many things I want to turn into Instagram content. Yet, I find myself doing none of them because I am incapacitated by the sheer volume of ideas pinging around in my head. And I get frustrated by them because they are good ideas.

1. Why, in fact, do men think about the Roman Empire?

2. Why are domestic thrillers so aversive to me but seem really popular amongst women?

3. The links between toxic masculinity and rejection sensitivity and perpetration of violence.

4. Putting out a concrete discussion about nature versus nurture regarding violence and the idea of evilness.

All of these things and more – and yet, nothing. I also have high hopes of improving aspects of my own podcast, but I am continuously distracting myself from that, too. (I actually think things are going swimmingly with Manosphere: Debunked – I am able to focus on that really well. That might be because I have a partner to do it with, which is something I may have to consider for my own.)

The most frustrating thing I find is that I know the things I need to do to be better and more productive: the concepts of “one-mindfulness” and “effectiveness” that are taught in mindfulness as part of DBT (I always seem to come around to discussing mindfulness somehow – of are least that’s what it feels like). Doing things one-mindfully means doing one thing at a time, with intention and purpose. Focused on that task, and if you get distracted, bring your attention back to the task at hand. We like to think that we as human beings are good at multitasking, but this is a lie we have been sold; that our value is linked to how productive we can be – especially in a Western capitalistic society where we are fed hashtags about rising and grinding. When in fact, we would be much more productive if we focused on one thing at a time and did that thing effectively.

Effectiveness, then, from a DBT perspective, is doing what needs to be done, as best you can, to either get a need met or move closer to a goal. Spreading yourself too thinly, as I am currently doing with wanting to research and write about all the topics under the sun, is not an effective way to do things. I am spreading myself too thin – and because my attention is being derailed from one topic to the next I am not being effective in producing the things I want to produce. And while part of this relates to wanting to give you, the subscriber and follower, something interesting to read and learn from, much of it is about wanting to write and produce content. I like creating things for others to learn from. I enjoy sharing the things that I know or have found out about. I need to make sure I can sit down and focus on that.

I think that is why I have written this blog post. I believe there is something helpful about putting something down on paper (or a virtual written document) that clarifies things in your head. I hadn’t intended to write about effectiveness and one-mindfulness, but as I was putting these words together, those elements of mindfulness practice popped into my head. I have now concluded that I need to make sure to be more one-mindful and effective about what I produce. I need to take a page out of the things I teach the clients I work with (“physician, heal thyself”, right?) and put that into practice a bit more for myself. Make sure I do one thing at a time, as well as I can, and that way, I will be a bit more effective in producing content (and then some of you won’t regret signing up for my blog/podcast/Instagram page).

This has been helpful in a way – thanks for taking the time to read through my stream of consciousness. Hopefully, there has been something for you to take away, too (it’s not all about me, right?)